a wednesday...

so, I am trying to get my act in gear..it's not working..
I am not sure what will light the fire under my butt that I need, but I am hoping it hits soon..

In the mean time.. things are changing faster and faster..
the baby is 5 months old, eating up storms and growing so very quickly.. too quickly..
the big one is fresh as ever, she is in the dog eat dog world of kindergarten..
my tree is up, half decorated, half popcorn strung, and a box of ornaments to be fixed.
my bills & paper work are finally caught up -- thank you Kathy for the time with the baby, you tired her right out.. slept 2 whole hours.. AHHH BLISS..
the nights are improving slowly too.. YEAH..
the holiday cards in the starting phases
the big one has been working on projects for the holidays too.. YEAH..

all in all..I am doing OKAY.. still tons and tons to do..

ALSO, I am going to try out for design team at the local scrapbook store.. oh wish me luck..
I need to select and scan 10 projects.. so there might be some work posted on my blog sooner than later.. who knows.. I might win.. (haahahah *insert sarcasm here*)

if I knew better, I would be doing other things, my list is truly HUGE, but right now.. I am enjoying a few moments of rest..

:) Monique

for this I am grateful...

seriously, I am going from bad to worse with this blogging thing...
but in the spirit of the sunday & thanksgiving.. here is my list...

Stacy Julian did a thing where she listed whatever came to mind for 15 minutes.. sounds like a good idea to me for tonights list...

infant tylenol, christmas lights, scrapbook sales, thanksgiving leftovers, dh love of my simple cooking, clean sheets, sweet smelling babies, 5 month cupcakes, hot tea, eggs cooked to perfection, a completed to do list, paying off bills, time to read a good book, a sleeping baby, time with my husband, a good nap, ambition to get things done, time to actually them done, plans for the holidays, warm chocolate chip cookies, episodes of Charmed with Cole in them, the dvr, miracle on 34th street, christmas cartoons, leftover pizza, new recipes, scrapbook night with my new friends, old friends, scrapbooking baby girls, baby toes, clean laundry, my little heater, minute maid popsicles, ice cream in the freezer, tito's chips and salsa, chinese food for dinner again tomorrow, dinner out on tuesday, good books being held for me at the library, being almost done christmas shopping, having toys to give to toys for tots, diet coke, rapid release tylenol, naps, the bus driver, eli stone, my grateful list, pink sockies, baby bottles, being organized, christmas photos, appt.s that have already been made, my pediatrician, Junie B. Jones books, good friends, my great memory, friends found on facebook, money to spend on silly things - just for me, small plastic bowls from ikea, my magic bullet blender, sliced cheese, frozen cherries, in season grapes, sugar cookies, the new blade in my paper trimmer, new socks, inspiration, candy canes, my order from ebay that should be in SOON, strung popcorn, christmas angels, miranda's memory of my mom, my dad's meatpie, family, friends, children's place pajamas and sales, target stores, the friendly guy named Barney at my local post office, love of a good man and two great girls, scented candle on my desk, coffee & bagels from dunkin donuts, early bedtimes, clean dishes and empty dishwashers,

that was 10 minutes and 37 seconds (yes, I set a timer, and the baby interrupted me, so I will finish this now)

kitchen timers, baby oragel, baby mobiles, dishwashers, leftovers, email, clean laundry, ironed laundry, meredith the photographer at target in attleboro, my back massagers, the mailman, warm weather in december, pink roses at my mom's house, apple crisp, sharing desserts with friends, the pasta in pink vodka sauce that I get to eat tomorrow, chocolate raisins, gold coins for the reindeer bag, ambition to do the things I really need to be doing, the library, sales at michael's, on-line shopping, my scrapbook supplies, eli stone, jon & kate plus 8, reruns of my favorite shows, ace of cakes on at a good time, christmas cartoons, plans to get the christmas cards out early this year, smiles from my girls, snuggles from the baby, I love you mama from the big one...

there you have it.. 15 full minutes of interrupted thoughts on things big and small that I am grateful for...

if I knew better, I would publish more important things on my blog, but I don't.. so this is what you are getting for tonight..
:) Monique

grateful..

with this week being thanksgiving, I must make sure and post my grateful list for the week..
seems like sunday is the only day I even manage to blog anymore..

1. I am grateful that my sister is home from chicago for the holidays.. my older dd loves her to pieces and is excited to see her.. she gets to hang out with the baby too..

2. we got new phones straightened out last night -- my dh can FINALLY get off my back and so can my sisters..

3. big DD got to see the new movie BOLT and I did not have to sit through another kiddie movie.. gotta love the Auntie Jo.. they always hit the movies.

4. I have started my laundry already.. should get 2 loads done tonight..

5. I got 2 scrapbook projects done yesterday.. WOO HOO.. I am so excited about this..

6. putting together the things i need to make the calendar for my mil on winkflash.. doing it before the end of the month..

7. dh is on board with putting the tree up next weekend... I have a boat load of cleaning to do.. but it might happen this week.. YEAH.

8. my sisters helped me string popcorn today.. 10 yards.. I probably need another 5 or 6.. but this is such a head start..

9. while I truly detest toys r us, and christmas shopping, I am just about done and should NOT have to return there but one last time.. YEAH!

10. it's thanksgiving and I am looking forward to spending some time with my brothers & sisters & my little family too..

If I knew better I would realize that the holiday rat race is officially beginning... but the best I can do is smile & embrace it... it comes whether I like it or not..

:) Monique

guilt and choices

guilt is one of those truly powerful emotions.. I inherited my gift from my mom.. she had a good knack at feeling guilty over things she did not need to...
my nephew had me feeling guilty this week.. I offered him my help on the weekend for a school project.. he CHOSE not to accept it then and to go off and party.. then saught my help during the week when I couldn't do it.. I felt sooo guilty.. it was eating at me.. but after talking with some great friends. I realized it wasn't my fault or my responability to get it done.. I made myself available and he CHOSE not accept it..
so.. while I know that I made the right choices not go out of my way to help him this time, I still feel guilty for not helping him..
right now... I am working towards just getting over it.. why is guilt so darned powerful??

if I knew better I could let this go.. but I am worried about him finishing school...
*sigh*
Monique

bad blogger..

I have been so crazy with things that I have neglected my blog.. honestly, I think a little bit of the post partum nastiness and family bullpoop has gotten to me lately and I haven't been looking at things in my life all that well.. Tonight, I am fixing that up some and going to at least do my Sunday night grateful list...

1. I am grateful for my new scrapping group -- I had the bestest time last night, just chatting, scrapping and catching up the baby's Monday album.. and eating the tastiest cheese spread.. seriously, I thought about how much of it ate later on and was embarrassed.. but yummy is yummy and you are not allowed to count calories on girls' night.. (or so I was once told)

2. I am grateful that baby girl slept until 5:30.. I think we have found a good thing for her.. hoping that it works.. she gets cereal & fruit or veggie at noon time feeding, it gets all the gas and belly pains out before bed.. sooo helpful for her poor lil' tummy...

3. I am grateful for the time I spent coloring / stamping with my daughter this morning.. I messed up many of the scrapbook pages I made last night trying to sew on them..but that is okay.. time with her ROCKED..

4. I am grateful that I have so much scrapbook stuff that I am overwhelmed by the crazy mess in my basement.. seriously, I will likely be cleaning all week and MIGHT get to scrap somewhere around Friday.. if I am lucky...

5. I am grateful that I made my christmas list up.. I really have more done than I thought I did.. I MUST MUST MUST start working on the presents I have to make.

6. I am grateful the baby took a great nap at the baby shower I went to today.. allowed me to help out my friends some...

7. I am grateful that tomorrow is monday and I get to start over.. last week is a blurry mess that I am glad to be done with.

8. I am grateful that I have learned to use my sewing machine.. I totally need a ton of practice, but it will be worth it.. I have great friends who taught me how to use it too..

9. I am grateful that my daughter thinks of me as her hero.... she whispered it to me recently, which if you know her, whispering is a major challenge, but she told me she loved me and all the wonderful things I do for her... made me smile on the inside & out... in school, she said she was thankful for me and my food, aka, my cooking.. I guess saying that I wasn't going to cook for them anymore really scared her... Honsetly, sometimes I feel like a short order cook..

10.. I am truly grateful for Meredith the photographer at my local Target.. this woman is amazing.. she brings the VERY best out in both of my kids and produces INCREDIBLE memories for me.. I am so lucky to have found her.. hopefully my comments on the recent survey brings her a nice big fat raise.. she totally deserves it...

okay.. off to do laundry (surprise) and clean up.. and then empty dishwasher, make formula, fold towels, etc. etc. etc.

if I only knew better I would be working instead of blogging.. but oh well..
:) Monique

mess in my basement..

monday's gratitude..

since I did not list my 10 things on Sunday, I am going to do it tonight, Monday..

1. I am grateful that today is over.. it has been a stinking long day..

2. I am grateful that the baby took a long nap & let me deep clean both of the girl's bedrooms..

3. I am grateful / but sad, that my baby girl is growing up.. she rolled over for the first time today.. so very proud of her.

4. I am grateful that dh forgave me for being cranky for his stupid mistakes this morning.

5. I am grateful that I am going to be able to start volunteering in my daughter's kindergarten class this month.

6. I am grateful that the big one is loving her gymnastics class -- really worth the money.

7. I am grateful that I have scrapbook stuff to sort & organize (I am in the process of purging, so clearly I have more than I need)

8. I am grateful that the big one has been eating her dinners & we can out to dinner with friends tomorrow night..

9. I am grateful that I finally, after 35 years learned how to spell tomorrow right the first time, without spell check (I am seriously not kidding on this one)

10. I am grateful that there is something good on tv tonight for me to do my ironing.. which I must start in about 15 minutes..

okay.. a semi-lam-o list, but it's my list and I am sticking with it for tonight..

:) Monique

:O boo

i have had enough....

that's it.. I have hit the lowest of lows in my scrapbooking space.. there is much good stuff and so much junk and so much in piles I can no longer find Anything I am looking for and am getting nothing done.. it started yesterday as I was planning to go & scrapbook with my new scrap / stamp buddies (whom I had an awesome time with last night) and I found the piece of paper I spent a really long time looking for yesterday.. on the floor, under the baby's swing..

it's time to stop spending, start cleaning and seriously PURGE... I have some friends who will be very happy when I am done.. but this is just getting WAY out of hand..

My goal would be the week.. but that might be unrealistic and then let me down.. so I will say 2 weeks.. maybe by halloween I will be scrapping again..

please wish me luck.. and send in back up help if you don't hear from me soon..

:O Boo!
Monique

pass the crackers...

Cuz I am about to whine..
if you are reading this, chances are you have kids, seems like I walk mostly in mommy type circles, if you don't chances are that someday you might.. if not, this post could warrant being skipped over...
my rant for today is baby clothes.. I love them, I think they are the cutest, tiniest little things on the planet.. especially those sweet socks... Oh, ask any woman who has or wants kids, the clothes are the sweetest part... washing them however, SUCKS! I have just finished doing the baby's load of laundry.. I do her load seperately because we are still using a different detergent, PLUS, it is just easier to wash all her stuff together and then put it away all together.. heck, miranda is 6 and I still do hers seperately too.. add in her sheets & it's a full load.. works for me..

but between sorting everything out, to make sure you have all those little socks, stain spraying the bibs & puked on clothes.. (baby girl has reflux & therefore pukes plenty) I want the clothes to keep their quality as long as possible.. I am hoping to pass things along when we are done with them, as baby clothes are expensive & they grow out of them so quickly... but this business of washing stinks.. I complain every week and every week my husband laughs at me.. I was excited when Miranda grew out of the stain phase, but I am right back in it..

I am not saying I would change any part of this.. I love and cherish my baby girl, but laundry still stinks... I can't say I would change things because I knew better, because honestly, not a thing would I change, except maybe my attitude about the job.. but sometimes, no matter how positive one views that task, it still stinks.. just my opinion for the day.. and I am stuck with it..

:) Monique

a bond between sisters

It was the cutest (and most uncomfortable) moment this morning..
Miranda, per her usual, woke up and climbed into bed with us.. she usually snuggles up with dh since I have the baby, but since the baby now has her own pillow in the bed (yes, I know the dangers of pillows, but with the reflux, it helps prop her up) I told her to climb in on my side..
basically, from right to left, Miranda, me, baby girl, dh. Seriously, if anyone knows of a company that makes a bed bigger than a king.. please feel free to comment so I can investigate it.

when the baby finally wakes up again (she was up most of the night it seems, glad I went to bed early and convinced dh to take the 11:00pm bottle), she was due for her morning bottle, so dh did his usual and got up to get one (he gets bottles, I feed her and get her back to sleep, sounds mean but the arrangement works for us) Miranda listened to her for a minute and then said, she needs gripe water... I smiled and asked how she knew... her belly is hard and she is whiney like her belly hurts.. and she was right... DH & I are much better at figuring the cries out, but even Miranda is getting it.. the gripe water helped her to calm down & relax enough to toot out some of the gas that plagues her... guess the sister bond is happening already... I feel blessed..

if I knew better, I would be back in bed right now, instead of blogging this and watching cartoons, but I guess dh does need some sleep too..


:) Monique

a day off

you know.. this whole monday holiday thing just throws me off.. granted I had a blast spending an extra day with DH & the family,but still.. it puts me in a tailspin...
my morning was spent at the dr. for the baby.. she has her first ear infection.. poor thing..
didn't even give her any pain meds to help.. wasn't sure she needed it..
she is sleepy today and still sweet..
poor thing..
hopefully this will explain her lack of sleeping..

off to meet the bus,
:) monique

you don't want to know...

this was the response from my dd this morning when I asked her if she finished her breakfast.
chocolate chip pancakes mind you..
she is cracking me up more and more lately..


if I knew better.. she would still make me smile..
:) Monique

too long..

what happened.. I was on such a roll posting to this thing..
busy busy week I suppose.. but it's sunday..

my grateful list..
1. I am grateful for my awesome friends -- we had a game day with come great friends & their kids

2. my babies.. one is 6 and other other is 3 months.. got photos to celebrate that..

3. loving the fall weather -- enjoyed a beautiful walk yesterday..

4. dh foot is going so much better.. he was able to walk & enjoy it..

5. Dh is appreciating the attempts I am making at becoming a better cook and supports my efforts.. he has promised he will eat anything once.. so sweet of him..

6. I realized again tonight that dh & I have been "together" for a long time.. it was 13 years in September... is that possible? that I have had this wonderful man in my life that long..

7. we might be going to Ikea tommorow.. seriously, I don't know WHAT my fascination with this store is.. but I am obssessed.. hoping it won't be like my need to go to Red Robin and be let down.. still a good time in the car together..

8. I am heading off to bed soon... with my DH, just to watch tv & snuggle..

9. my house is getting cleaner & cleaner and less clutter every week.. seriously, I am loving the cleaning & organizing..

10. don't know if this a blessing or what.. but my in-laws are coming to see us in June for the baby's first birthday.. will get hairy here & there, but I am glad that they are coming to see the babies.. they won't be for very long..

okay.. I am tired an going to bed.. I promise to post with my Ikea treasures tomorrow..

If i knew better, we would stay home tomorrow, clean up the yard & decorate for halloween, plus save money on gas & stuff we might not really need.. but i think I might lose that battle...

:) Monique

gratitude..

Sunday once again.. my gratitude time..

1. I am grateful for having the means to get a cleaning company this week.. I feel blessed that my husband let me do it.. really a treat.. and honestly.. it feels so good.

2. my sister.. she really went out of her way to help me today.. and even took time to play with me & the girls yesterday

3. my friends.. they rock.. and all got along well.

4. that the little girls all got along so well.. let us grown ups play too

5. the I get to play & scrapbook ALOT this week.. since all of my housework is all done.. Well, not the ironing & the floors need a good wash too..

6. the baby was really good.. a little over stimulated,but good.

7. the clean up of the house is already done -- what a good feeling

8. the closets for both girls have been switched over and only the fall / winter stuff is out.. (we have double closets so it was just a matter of moving things around & taking out the stuff that is too small)

9. I get to scrapbook this week.. my mojo is already going... I can't wait

10. might be getting new photos of the girls done this week.. baby girl 3 month, big girl 6 years & a photo of them together.. ohh.. I see an expensive target bill... but the photographer ROCKS..

okay.. I am seriously off to do laundry.. just felt like I needed to take my gratitude time...

:) Monique

the good, the great and the messy...

today was the end of the birthday stuff.. her friend birthday party.. we decided to keep it low key, 6 friends at the house.. have a fairy tea party --decorate fairy wings, have tea, open presents, frost your own cupcake, cake & ice cream for all.. then hunt for fairy treasure (decorative rocks and hersey kisses) well, because of the rain, the treasure hunt was called off..

the good.. Miranda was so excited about having her friends over.. that she didn't even get upset that 2 of the little girls could not come..

the great.. I planned for this party.. we made goody bags together on Friday, I cleaned the house through the week & had a cleaning company come in on Friday too.. not for the party.. but because we had been talking about getting it done for a while.. to do the deeper cleaning.. like the bathroom in the basement that hadn't been used or the tops of the cabinets, fans.. etc.. so we could actually have a party and NOT stuff & stash.. well.. I did a little.. but minor things..
I did have to run to the store today.. but it was planned.. I also asked for some help from my sister.. she did not do tons, but she good moral support and a great help.. she too appeciated not having to clean, but merely help prep for the party..

the party was fun.. the girls had a wonderful time and so did the parents.. while 5 girls were in the basement, I had 6 parents around the table playing a game. (I'm the boss) it was fun..

finally, the messy.. I swear, every toy in my basement was out.. ohh.. it was bad.. so, as my last gift to Miranda, she and her friends did not have to clean up their messes.. I did it all.. took me like a half hour. .but everything is back in it's buckets and organized.. I know that I just feel so much better.. and she thought is was the greatest treat..

well, the basement is cleaned up, the dishwasher is loaded and ready to be run in the morning..
I am trying to get some laundry done.. and things are otherwise back to normal.
I have to have Miranda checked for an ear infection (she tumbled down the stairs today, and her cough is rough).. but otherwise.. back to normal.. and normal to be.. feels just fine..

if I knew better.. I would resting, but I am blogging and doing laundry.. again.. normal is a good thing...
:) Monique

belle, gisele, ariel & finally sharpay...

Halloween costume choice.. we have looked at, discussed them and looked at them all too..
(who the heck knew that costumes would run you 80 bucks)
either way.. my daughter settled on being Sharpay from High School Musical.. if the costume fits she is going to wear it..
we were supposed to be Tom (DH) Jerry (big DD) and baby nibbles (baby girl) that would have rocked.. but dd changed her mind..
then, they were supposed to be characters from Phineas & Ferb, because the baby would be Perry the platypus, because they don't do much.. (this joke is funnier if you have seen the show).. but she outed that idea too..
Then, my older sister from Chicago bought the baby a monkey costume.. at first it was too big, but now.. it totally rocks on her.. so stinking cute.. DH has agreed to be the man in the yellow hat.. making the baby curious george.. I want big DD to be a banana.. so cute. but she is outing the idea..

so.. we have a monkey, a yellow hat & sharpay.. Personally, I will be wearing my Halloween vest that my mom made me...
gotta love Halloween..

If I knew better, i would still love Halloween.. and let the kids pick their own costumes.. just like I am...
:) Monique

only after 2 years..

as of September 25, we have been living here 2 years.. and now, I am finally starting to decorate it up some..
I am filling the pictures frames (only because dh won't hang anything else until I do.. and I am not allowed to take a hammer and do it myself) but honestly, it's nice seeing photos of memories past up.. feels good..

also, we can now start using the down stairs bathroom.. 2 years.. we NEVER used it.. not even the toilet.. I never got to cleaning it and when I was pregnant.. the room just reaked and I couldn't stomach it.. but we splurged and had a cleaning company come in and do the kitchen, living room and bathrooms.. other areas too like the hall way, stairs etc.. the basement has been really cleaned up by yours truly recently, so it wasn't a focus point.. and I did not have them do the bed rooms for 3 reasons.. 1 I deep clean the girls bedrooms EVERY week.. I move furniture & everything.. the big one has bad allergies and this has really helped them and her asthma too. figured I could just do the little one too. 2 saves money.. bedrooms can take a ton of time and when you are paying by the hour.. ummm. dollar signs go up quickly.. 3 freaks me out to have strangers in personal spaces like that..

I digress.. the bathroom in the basement is now cleaned, I am buying new rugs tommorow.. but there is a curtain rod up.. a nice shelving until.. decorations on the wall (But I need to find a cheap framed picture of Van Gogh's Stary Stary Night.. I am doing a sun, moon star thing that bathroom.. I already have some pretty blue paint that I wanted to paint it and if I get inspired I will.. but DH is thinking I should leave white.. might help with resale.. (he thinks we are moving in about 5 years.. which just makes me giggle)

either way.. things are changing and we are creating more spaces for us.. the living room upstairs is more for formal sitting and the basement is really our family space.. hoping to make great use of it this winter.. family that plays together, stays together.. cheesey, but true..

okay.. I am off to either clean off my desk or finish the page I have started on my desk, either way.. I am scrapping..

If I knew better.. I would realize how tired I am and just go to bed..

:) Monique

parenthood.. not for wimps..

Being a parent is not for wimps.. I knew this long ago, but had it confirmed tonight..
we were having dinner, dh and I were having general taos sauce with beef stripes and peppers over rice (sorta like a stir fry style, but the sauce.. OH so yummy, must love target)

knowing big dd would NEVER eat this, I sauted her up the beef plain.. served it with rice, a little cheese and a few taco chips.. this way, she wasn't having steak, it was tacos. usually, this would work.. well, she ate a bite or two then announced she would not eat it.. DH tells her no more rice or other things on her plate, eat the meat.. she refuses.. he patiently waits and then tells her that if she does not want to eat, that she can leave the table and go to bed.. we have been having MAJOR eating issues with her.. she refuses to eat dinner.. now, I know that kids won't let themselves starve, but she is just being a MAJOR pain.. knowing the come breakfast she can eat again..
well, she opts for the bed .. little stinker.. so we start getting her ready adn stuff.. then she realizes that NO one would be putting her to bed.. she starts bawling her eyes out.. FINALLY, it sinks in.. hearing rant & rave about it, the baby gets all cranky and joins in... dh leaves the table with the big, I try to soothe the little, (who really just needed a good solid burp) he gets her ready for bed and tucks her in.. she cries foe what seems like ever, but really only 10 minutes or so..
I know it isn't easy, but this is what we said and we have to follow through.. we did talk about it to once she was in her room.. did we do the right thing? are we sending the right message??
honestly, being a parent is HARD.. well, a good parent anyways.. knowing if what you are doing is the right thing isn't easy.. you have to think things through from all angles, especially the kid angle... my heart was breaking listening to her cry in her bed.. when I said that to dh he suggested that I go in and tell her that.. so I did.. I told her how hurt I am when she does not eat what I make for her, especially when I make it especially for her, and that when she cries like this it bugs me.. but I need to help her make the right choices.. and that means helping her to eat healthy things too... she did calm down and stop crying some.. she felt bad, not my intention, but I think she understands that putting her to bed early was not easy for me either..

now, I know that some people will read this and think that I am over-analyzing.. but honestly.. I worry about what I do to my children and what message I am sending them.. I want to be a good parent & role model for her.. I want her to know that I am human, I make mistakes and I try hard but sometimes, I get it wrong..

seriously, parenthood is not for wimps.. if I could pass that along to all those young girls who think having a baby is all easy and fun.. it's not.. it's work and hard and heartbreaking.. but wonderful and rewarding too -- but that comes with time, patience & effort...

okay, off my soapbox and back to cleaning up a little more..
if I knew better.. I just don't think I do tonight.. I know what I know... that's all
:) Monique

Confessions of a Stasher..

Hello, my name is Monique and I am a stasher....

In my efforts to blog more, I have momentarily stopped cleaning up my scrapbook area and decided to post on my blog.. I have been so bad about such things lately (any port in a storm to put off cleaning..)

so.. I have come to the conclusion, I am stasher.. I decide to clean and organize something and use an empty box to sort, then I never finish the project and I have a million and 2 boxes floating my house with random piles of junk in them.. this is especially true of my scrapbook stuff.. just this week I was cleaning out a box of stamps I have not used or touched since we moved in (um.. 2 years ago) and in doing so, I found a few things I have been needing, like a package of page protectors for a binder and Miranda's passport.. you know.. that crazy thing that I had to pay another 80 bucks for because I tore the house apart and could not find it.. well, I stashed it into a box...

In the past, I have blogged about ridding my life of the boxes.. this is HARD for me.. I love a good box, but i have been trying with all my might to purge it as soon as it empties..

my goal for the next two (okay maybe three, mind you, I orginally had one, then changed it to two, and now I am upping it to three -- procrastinator that I am) month is to unearth all my stashed & stuff boxes, however many there might be - and put it away.. and get rid of the boxes..

so.. January 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm. I vow to be done with this.. I will report my progress and updates.. honestly, right now.. I am afraid of what the hell I am going to find... good thing the big sisters come to my house once a month for donations and there is not limit on the quantity of paper & boxes one can recycle..because mine will be overflowing...

if I knew better.. I would leave well enough alone and leave the messes where they are.. but I am starting to think I just can't live like this anymore...

think good thoughts for me as I journey slowly into my own personal insanity..
:) Monique

it has been a while..

Seriously, it's been a while since I blogged.. Honestly, I check here often enough, think about things I want to write about, but if I am down here in front of the computer, I am usually holding the baby and typing one handed - - which, if you have not had the pleasure of doing in a while. is not fun..

a lot has happened..
1. big DD is now 6.. totally an emotional day for me.. I love her more today than the day she was born.. I love the big girl she is becoming and want to keep her my baby girl forever all in the same breathe... can I just have the best of both worlds... Kindergarten is slow going for her.. they are boring her a little, but that is good for her too... her friend birthday party is next weekend.. so I am in the middle of full blown house cleaning..
2. baby DD will be 3 months on tuesday.. she is laughing, giggling, and working on rolling over.. so stinkin' cute ... she is eating 5 ounces at time and is in size 2 diapers.. the gas drops in every bottle work wonders and the reflux meds help.. her 2 month photos are precious, if you want a link to them.. email me personally, DH is the over cautious type.. if I know you, you have probably already been sent a link.. so I don't need to bother you..
3. September 15 I celebrate 13 years of knowing my husband.. having met him online.. it's amazing to me that we have been married 7 1/2 years.. 8 in February.
4. we cleaned up the basement some this weekend.. 3 bags of trash and 4 boxes of empties. I was so excited to see DH getting rid of junk too..
5. to date, I have scrapbooked about 11 pages.. I have to complete 35 before I can order from oritental trading.. OHHH.. I just can not wait..
6. dh job is going well.. I am still struggling with the inconsistancies of him working so far from home.. it's a challenge, and i know that he does not mean to be a jerk.. .but sometimes.. I just have to wonder..
7. my scrapbooking has introduced me to a new group of women IN my local area.. we are planning to get together and scrap once a month.. it was nice to meet with new people and just have a girls night...
8. blogging, while I have been lax about it, I do think about it...
9. I am cooking up so many tasty new recipes.. and planning on even more for the near future.. I plan to make better use of my crock pot too..

A while back I posted that I would comment about 10 things I am grateful for on sundays.. I want to try & do that again.. being sunday, here goes..
I am grateful for:
1. my family -- all healthy and growing well
2. my hobby -- brought me to new people with new ideas
3. my friends -- it's good to know that they think of me and value my talents and still need me
4. my home -- while it seems to be a giant mess, it's mine.. and makes me feel good when I am there..
5. my husband's job -- while it stinks, he makes enough for me to stay home with my daughters and pay for the things we need... it stinks, but I am grateful..
6. my husband -- he really is an amazing person whom I might not always understand, I always love..
7. my sister - for helping me with my daugher's party next weekend
8. winkflash -- for having a great and easy program that allows me to upload and print my photos more often.
9. indian summer - we having it here in Rhode Island.. that one last glimpse at summer before fall sets in.. it's always a nice feeling.
10. a great sale at the children's place -- I managed to get the rest of the clothes and black shoes for my older daugher at a great price.. I so love good sales..

anyways, I am off to play and clean..
if I knew better I would be cleaning up the kitchen.. but I don't.. it's time to play..

:) Monique

color me happy...

Oh could have just kissed the mail man.. he brought me my winkflash picture order.. (he brought the Target bill too, so I contained myself)
OHHHH.. color me happy.. I ordered 201 pictures, 17 5X7 prints and 1 8 X 10... I am giddy with the excitement of getting to scrapbook these photos.. all of them are from 2008 and they are great quality and ohhh..
color me happy is all I can say..

Hell, I know no better today.. I am going to go droll over my newly received treasures..
:) Monique

cleaning up..

bet you thought I meant the house.. NOPE.. I am going to finish my purge and sort of my scrapbooking stuff... getting messy, can't find anything and buying more.. I am placing one big order for supplies with the money from his bonus check and then I am going to try & go to the end of the year without shopping... I bet I can do it.. until then, sorting, organizing, donating and generally cleaning house..
I AM working on the house too.. it's getting cooler and that inspires me to get rid of the dust and such before the fall comes...

I am off clean.. and I don't think I know anything better than that to do today...
Besides the baby will be up from her morning nap soon anyways..
:) Monique

a 20 minute job..

It's monday, my cleaning day, I was able to clean both the girls rooms, their laundry is washed & folded, and I even cleaned out big dd drawers of things that she doesn't like or don't fit.. this week, we will attack the closet.. well, when she came home from Kindergarten, we had lunch and she painted a project, those sun catcher things.. so excited she was.. while she painted, the baby had a bottle, when she was done, I put her in the swing for a nap... and offered to let the big one finally help me clean the bathroom.. she gets so disappointed when she sees it is already done, she likes to help me wash the walls, (basically, just a water spray bottle and paper towel) but it's a little bit more being done in the room and she gets paid 50 cents for helping and we hang out..
this job usually takes 20 minutes, I zoom through and just get it all done.. nothing serious either, it's a small bathroom so it never takes that long, plus, I do it weekly, so it's really just maintenance..

it took 45 minutes today.. I was so wishing she wasn't helping me, I had puddles, a broken candle holder and other things.. but the baby was sleeping and we did something together.. she was THRILLED ... so I guess it was all worth it.. Inventing chores for her to do independently is HARD -- but we will just keep trying.. -- so chalk one up for good mommy points and cross cleaning the bathroom off the weekly list.. 2 good deeds done..

If I knew better, I would be cleaning off the kitchen table, but I think they might actually BOTH be sleeping in the living room now, so I might just join them.. :)

Happy Monday too!
:) Monique

2 days until I get to scrapbook with my friends...both in the am & at night.. *COLOR ME HAPPY*

FaceBook..

so, DH has been bugging me for a while to join Facebook.. Last night, I finally sucked it up and did it and while it will be cool to interface with my existing family & friends on the internet (have I ever mentioned that DH and I first met on line -- long story.. another day)..
anyways, I might have found a few of my friends from my internet days... too funny.. way too funny.. people move, change numbers, forget to stay in touch, but I guess the internet still allows us all to do that... crazy how the world turns.

if I knew better, I would finish up a couple of scrapbook pages and go to bed to help this cold I am getting.. we'll see who wins..

:) Monique

ps. the photo pile won yesterday.. made a cute page.. just need to work on details & journaling..

good things CAN come from cleaning..

So my sisters keep reminding me that since I don't work, cleaning my house & taking care of the kids is my job.. yeah.. bite me.. but honestly, they are right.. so in an effort to be more productive, I am cleaning the basement out.. time to pitch stuff and get rid of things.. buckets of baby clothes are flying out, as are the things I can't or don't need.. plus toys, and all sorts of other things.. God bless the big sisters -- anyone who is willing to pick up my charitable donations right at my house is a good thing.. I have a few bags of stuff for dd old pre-k.. a box of scrapping treats for someone else, and right now, 3 big bags of things for big sisters.. and I just started. DD might cry if she saw what was going, but that is the joy of kindergarten .. things come and go in secret.. don't be thinking evil of me.. it's not her favorite things, rather things she hasn't seen or touched since we moved in here 2 years ago.. safe to assume she forgot them, and since they are in good shape.. I am giving them to someone who might like them.. making more space in my house.. ROCK ON!

while I was working on the laundry room, just moving things like boots and such that I plan to save for the baby.. honestly, winter boots worn 5 times can be handed down.. they are simple character free, so it works for me. anyways, moving things around, I found a pair of long lost sandals.. they must have been from last year and just buried.. seeing as my last pair just died and I can't replace them without buying real birkinstocks, I am thilled.. my feet are in them now and I am singing their praises.. COLOR ME HAPPY!

I am off for another 10 minutes while the baby sleeps.. her tylenol is working good today.. her shots really got to her and made for a rough night.. Good time management I say..

If I knew better, I would clean for a little longer, but OHHH, is that pile of photos on my scrap desk calling my name.. I will let you know who wins..
:) Monique

I am getting worse..

I truly am getting worse and worse about posting here..
but honestly, if I make it to the computer during the day, I am usually holding the baby and it's a HUGE pain to type one handed and when I finally make it on the computer at night, I have about an hour or so and I try to get my scrapping time in. Last night I got 2 layouts in the baby's book done.. so.. there is obviously alot to catch up.

1. The big news is that the baby is 2 months old -- time is flying and she is growing. Offiicially she weighs 12 lbs and is about 22 1/2 inches tall.. her reflux is bad.. poor thing suffers quite a bit from it.. they have adjusted the medication once again and hopefullly things will improve.. the next issue is gas problems for her.. but dr. wants to solve one problem at time.. I agree. she is taking 4 oz at a feeding and is comfortably wearing a 3 - 6 month footy pj and still wears 3 month clothes.. poor thing is so long.. and the dr. told me today that we need to start getting her into her crib... man that stinks.. means actually getting out of bed now for bottles.. YUCK..

2. big girl is in kindergarten and really liking it. she still gets a little nervous about the bus every morning, but she is really doing okay. her attitude need some adjusting.. all the freedoms of kindergarten have brought about some independence testing in her behavior & attitude.. all normal I am assuming. we are still working on trying new foods.. someday, she will have dessert again. that is the rule, no dessert if you don't try something new. I just keep putting those fruits & veggies on her plate.... just keep on trying... she is reading so well too, sounding out words, it's great. her current favorite is Biscuit the puppy books.. she is anxiously awaiting the release of the new Barbie movie too.. making plans for the big birthday too.. hard to believe she is going to be 6!! where do the years go.. just yesterday she was the one tormenting me with her desires not to nap.. now, she doesn't need them anymore.. *SIGH*

3. Me, I am doing well. I did gain back 2 lbs.. according to dr. scales .. darn all those ice cream runs.. Officially I have lost, 34 ;bs since I found out I was pregnant. BUT, I am walking twice a day, once in the am after her bus drop off and once in the afternoon with both girls. MUST work on doing it.. also, trying to drink my water.. totally been slacking on that.. my goal would be to lose 5 lbs more by the 4 month visit, which is when i see my dr. again. fingers crossed.

4. Dh job is doing well. he really likes the work, doesn't even mind the commute, just hates the 5:30 wake up. but that should start to improve when the baby starts sleeping better.. and man alive does it feel good to have money to pay bills and even get some back into savings. all the employment issues are not yet resolved, but it's okay.. it will take time. we are even going to see some unemployment money soon.. plus his bonus.. light at the end of the tunnel.


plus, my house is cleaner, less cluttered thanks to the monthly donations to big sisters and it's all working out. we are making plans for improvements, one thing at a time.. right now I am working on the yard & painting a bench & my shed.. FUN HUH?

scrapping as always, doing better than I though too, managed to do like 18 pages last month and have 2 done for this month.. feels good to be working on current stuff and not stressing.. my other new goal is to go with the flow more.. which is TOTALLY not an easy thing for me.

a work is progress is truly what I am... and maybe by my birthday this year, I might have just a little bit more figured out than I did last year.. good thing I still have time.

okay.. I am off..
if I knew better I would go fold a load of laundry while the baby is napping, but I think the big one could use some rocking chair time instead...
:) Monique

tomorrow is THE day...

Oh.. it's going to be a big day tomorrow... her first official day of kindergarten.. I filed out all forms and put them in the right spot to send back.. wrote her name in her NEW backpack and packed the milk money too.. I am driving her in for the first day, but she is taking the bus home..
she is so excited and I am excited for her.. but I honestly feel like a tiny piece of me of being ripped out and leaving me.. I am tearing up just thinking about it.. so I won't think about it..
at least not until the morning when I drop her off at school...

If I knew better.. hell, either way it would still hurt..
:) Monique

a cheap hooker...

Saturday was a good day, we picked up the baby's photos and ran some errands and then went to a pool party.. I took both girls with me -- giving dh a break and I made plans with my younger sister to go to see Momma Mia.. (word of advice.. SKIP it.. the singing was so bad.. seriously, whoever cast these people are tone deaf.. didn't mind looking at Colin Firth OR Pierce Brosman, but my ears still hurt).. anyways, I am giving the little on her bath and my sister is helping the big one hang up some butterfly wall stickers, when she realizes that the fish, miah, is not moving.. having just commented today on the longevity of the fish, I was surprise.. my sister in fact, confirmed the deceased and I called my daughter into the nursery so we could talk about it.. Dh joined the conversation... we were tip toeing around it so carefully, she finally said, "is she dead?" to which we told her, yes. she looked confused and we asked her how she felt about it.. she said she was okay, she wanted new.. fine.. after thinking it over, she says, did the angels take her.. we assured her that they did.. she was okay with this.. relieved, dh and I smiled and finished the pajama duties.. when my sister yells out.. "why does the fish need a cheap hooker?" I all but wet my pants.. the things you think you hear are sometimes better than the real thing..

my sister and I were talking about this on the way home from the movies and other random things we were laughing so very hard.. honestly, I had a better time driving home with my sister than I did in the movie..

if I knew better, i would plan to just go out with her next time.. and skip the movie..
:) monique

thoughts on kindergarten

It's been a good, but busy week.. the house isn't as clean as a result of all my running around either.. oh well. that will change..

Kindergarten is still weighing heavy on my mind.. very much so..
I am nervous about my baby going off to school -- she is so excited and really showing the independence to make it on her own.. she is making new friends already, enjoying the toys and as we discovered this week.. she can read.. and not just books that are familiar to her, but everything.. she sounds out words and really tries.. BLOWS ME AWAY.. we read to her a ton but have never sat down and taught her any of this.. it's amazing...

her deductive reasoning skills are blossoming too.. just today while at orientation she was playing with blocks, pattern blocks.. and she informed me that 3 triangles make a trapezoid and 6 make a hexagon.. um.. hello, those were words I did not know until 8th grade or geometry. yet, she figured it out.. she has always been good at the visual stuff.. could go 50 plus piece puzzles by 4.

she is smart and will do well, her teacher seems nice.. just the social piece I am worried about.. she is quite the chatter... we'll see..

*sigh* I know I am not alone in this quest for understanding why our babies have to grow up and go off to school -- I was with a room FULL of parents thinking the same thing today, yet, I feel so all alone.. like I am sending my baby, my little little baby off into the big bad world...
but she is smart and has some common sense.. and I guess she has to do it sooner or later...
is it wrong for me to wish it was later??

If I knew better, I would be celebrating my baby's next big step into independence, but right now, I am wollowing in self pity and a decent surge of post partum emotions.. so I am entitled.. just a little...

:) Monique

Checking things off..

I am tired today.. it was a long day, but a good one..
went to the movies, CHECK
eye doctor, CHECK
lunch with friends, CHECK
shopping, CHECK
snuck in shopping for me, bought a shirt in smaller size than usual for me (insert happy dance) CHECK
ice cream for DD and bottle for baby, CHECK
45 minute walk in neighborhood, fun talk with big dd, CHECK
dinner with family, CHECK
baths, CHECK
4 loads of laundry, CHECK
bottles and formula, CHECK

a very cool day, DD needs new glasses, new script, but it's a good thing.. might go glasses shopping on Saturday... I think the walk was a great thing, dd is being such a trooper about it.. I hope to make it a daily thing.. but it does mess up the night time routine, we seriously need to get into the swing of things so that everyone makes it bed on time.. especially with kindergarten starting.. speaking of...

I really am excited for her and watching her get excited is especially fun, but in the same tone, I am so nervous.. this is the first time in my life that I have let my baby go somewhere that I did not already know the ropes, did not know the teachers and did not choose the place for her.. I looked at 8 days cares for her before choosing the one she is currently in.. I interviewed 3 pediatricians too.. I love my daughters and want what is best for them, but I am a nervous mommy with a control issue.. I am worried.. plus, kindergarten means that she is officially NOT my baby anymore.. I think that is bugging me too.. she is growing up.. I am glad, I love her independent spirit and zest for learning.. but she is my baby.. *WAHHHH*
I guess I just want the best of both worlds...

Oh well, that is enough ranting from a nervous mommy for tonight.. I am off to scrapbook something, or maybe just play with photos, I so want to go to bed early tonight.. another busy day tomorrow.. if I knew better, I would already be in bed..

:) Monique

tiring, very tiring..

sunday eve..

what a great day, we all slept in just a little, Dh more than the rest of us, but it worked out..
I got to make muffins & color with big dd while baby dd slept in with DH..
after a late breakfast we went outside once again to do yard work.. while dh mows the back yard, big dd rides her scooter and we take the stroller for baby girl. it's a good walk, the one we did every night before dh broke his foot.. well, halfway through the walk, I made a phone call and big dd ended up talking to my sister on the cell for about 10 minutes or so, this is a huge deal for her, she never wants to talk to my sister.. made them both very happy, made the walk worth it..

while dh mowed the front yard, we hooked up the sprinker in the back for big dd.. she was LOVING it.. and since baby dd was sleeping, I went and weeded again then sprayed the weeds for me to remove later in the week -- if I have time.. crazy week in this house.. something big every day..
monday - eye dr. appt for big dd
tuesday - breakfast & walk with my godmother
wedneday - baby girl has appt with ent.. follow up appt.
thursday - kindergarten orientation -- I am really worried about this.. but dd isn't.. she is getting more and more excited as the days pass until the start of kindergarten.. (i have more thoughts on this and will post later)
friday - maybe a day for me to play.. also big dd last day of camp...

like I said, crazy crazy week.. who am I kidding? every week is a crazy week lately, but today after the yard work was done, we just HUNG OUT.. we played Barbie pool, sprinkers, swinging on the swing set.. and baby girl was in her swing out there too.. just a great day.. finished up with a vist from my other sister, the younger one and her dog for a BBQ.. seriously, I love grilling out, but I hate hauling all of the stuff out just to eat, then haul it right back it.. still makes dd happy, so we do it.. and a great mystery for me, we didn't even eat in the house, yet my kitchen table is one GIANT mess.. I mean, it was clean last night and most of this morning.. what the hell happened??

okay, the point to this blog post, being a sunday, I was feeling like I should be doing a grateful list, a list of things I am grateful for.. I actually think that this is going to be a weekly post for me.. I think it's the catholic church raising that made me think that I should be doing this on a sunday.. (this thought made me think of my mom.. well, not true, I have had my mom on my mind alot lately, also, the topic for another blog)

so, 10 things I am grateful for..

1. Dh got paid this week, it was nice.. finally being able to pay bills & NOT pull the money from savings... good feeling.. very good feeling..

2. baby girl is sleeping very well at night, not a great napper, but super at night, she still wakes up for a bottle every 3 or 4 hours, but goes right back to sleep..

3. big dd is such a great kid, she is still adjusting to sharing our attention, but really makes the best of it.. and tries really hard to be gentle with the baby..

4. I got some scrapbooking done this week.. just a little bit, like 5 pages, but some time, just for me..

5. I was able to connect and visit with my friends and make plans to do it again.. I am happy about this..

6. time with my family.. today just rocked, we were just together, working & playing..

7. my new camera, this should have been my number one, dh and I found a great deal and we bought a cannon power shot.. now, I know that I should have held out for a digital SLR, but honestly, I wanted something I can put in my pocket & just take photos with.. the stick we have holds like 1800 photos.. and I plan to start taking more and more..

8. baby girl is really smiling.. seriously, big big smiles.. so wonderful..

9. I cleaned up some in the basement, including my scrapbooking space.. feels good to see things cleaning up again..

10.. dh and I made future plans for the things we want to do in the house / yard.. feels good to be hopeful that we can make improvements to the house and still pay off bills.. just a great feeling all the way around..

okay.. DH wants to check HIS email and baby girl is likely ready for her bed.. I am off to finish watching the movie I fell asleep during.. 21 -- it seems really good.. I guess I am just really tired lately..

:) Monique

holy cow.. time escapes me..

I don't know how it happens, but time is escaping me.. I seriously feel like I worry about the world in 3 hour incriments since that is the little ones feeding schedule..
I did get a ton of cleaning done early today.. which means I can either a. spend the week cleaning in the basement while the baby sleeps or b. scrapbook..
I will allow your imagination to fill in my option..

I had a great day today visiting with friends and so did big DD, she had 2 friends here too, but with 3 kids, 2 are 5 and one will be 6, it's crazy & loud.. but the baby LOVED it & I managed to set up my 2007 and 2008 albums and actually get one page scrapped.. tonight I am cleaning up again.. I so prefer scrapping by myself.. quicker and less messy.. so much for scrapbooking being a social activity.

OHH.. the baby is smiling.. it's so cute.. I managed to get her Monday photo of her smiling today.. first time EVER! thrilled me endlessly.. the baby has been smiling for big dd for a while now.. also can report that the baby LOVES the swing, atleast to nap in...

Okay, there is more to report on,but I have a limited time option here, so I am going end and promise to write more on other topics laters..

if I knew better I would have scrapped first and blogged later, but I figured I was so long overdue it was time..

:) Monique

a whole new world..

No secret for my love of Mondays.. I just love the newness of them..
Well.. today was the official start of DH NEW job.. he is commuting to Boston, so he gets up as a NEW time to start his day, I too am getting up early to ensure my time for a shower before the girls get up.. working on his NEW routine and my NEW routine to still get things done..
it will all be changing by the end of the month when DD starts kindergarten... but it's NEW and like anything NEW, there is change.. and for me.. change is really really hard.. I am bumming about how late DH is coming home, but we are working on that.. once we establish a rhythm & routine, things will work out just fine... still change is hard.. although getting a paycheck again will be a NEW change that I welcome...

Tonight DH and I sat down and filled out the paper work for his job, direct deposit, and health insurance.. this will be our LAST month to pay.. WOO HOO... another good thing coming from a NEW change..

I was able to clean all 3 bedrooms, do all the laundry, even if it is not all put away and clean up the kitchen .. also, while baby girl took her pm nap I was able to get in all my ironing for the week for DD & DH.. woo hoo..

I have my list of things to do for tomorrow and I plan to include some fun stuff.. maybe some shopping.. I have returns galore to do.. so we will have to see.. I plan to meet up with a friend and her kids on Friday and lunch on Thursday to show off my new baby, and maybe a wednesday play date with my scrapping buddy.. see, I am fitting it all in.. next few weeks is dr. appts for me & the baby.. so this is my fun week..

photo sort going well -- 2003 is the only year left and I am almost done month sorting.. GO ME!
I did drop off the disposable camera to be developed so I will have baby photos back by the end of the week.... I am so excited.. I truly can not wait.

DH also got a sign on bonus with his NEW job, and we are allowing ourselves some LONG overdue play money.. about 200 each.. including some fun things for the girls... WOO HOO.. see, NEW can be good... I am drooling about the new toys I might buy .. just for me..

Also, Big dd lost her first tooth.. it was a momentous occassion.. she was truly over the moon about it.. the other tooth is right behind it and I am sure there will be more dollars to collect from the tooth fairy in the not so distant future..

If I knew better I would be off to bed. but this photo pile is calling me.. so we'll see who wins..

:) Monique

just shoot me now..

Last post I mentioned that I am organizing my basement.. this includes my scrapbooking stuff.. trying to make the space look pretty to entice us to use it more than we currently do.. so far, it's now working..

one of my major projects would be to organize 9 boxes of misc photos into the correct order and figure out what I do and don't have scrapbooked.. well.. this project is really motivating because I truly would love to print and and begin scrapbooking 2008 photos, especially .. baby photos ...
well.. I did great, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007 are organized.. YES, I have a box that is considered like a round 2 box, just stuff that didn't make it into the right spot the first time, portraits, which are stored elsewhere and that sorta stuff.. I am even taking the time to throw away lousy photos, or photos I will never need copies off.. I am also starting piles of photos to give away to specific people and then I plan to just go through the extra stuff and sort through what I can reasonably give away to others too.. I don't need all these photos hanging around..
especially considering there are about 3 more boxes hiding in the back room somewhere..

however, 2002 & 2003 are killing me.. half of them are not labeled, don't know what I have or have not already used and I can't even tell how old Miranda is.. OH MAN this is going to be a long and laboring process.. I must try to find the will to convince myself that this process is worth it.. and it' s not working ...

on a good note, the baby is sleeping sweetly in her swing.. :)

off to do some more sorting..
If I knew better I would never have let this mess get as bad as it is...
:) Monique

a month

baby girl is officially a month old.. that is as of yesterday.. we celebrated in style too.. we bought some mini-cupcakes, which big dd got to eat and sang to her like 3 times.. sorta neat.. we did this for big dd too.. sorta a custom for my husband..
I need to take a photo of the baby with her frog, I plan to do this every month.. I also need to get her professional portraits done soon.. as in .. saturday or maybe in friday.. will have to wait and see what the time brings..
her appt. with the ENT about her breathing was promising, basically, her reflux is aggrivating her immature skin covering the larynx, there is a fancy name for it..but I can't say it, let alone spell it.. but she should will all likelyhood, out grow the problem.. we just need to keep an eye on it and see how things progress.. controlling her reflux is more the big concern.. we have taken very pro-active steps to help with that too.. we switched bottles from Avent to Dr. Brown.. a good friend gave me the dr. browns.. they are excellent and even cost less than avent bottles.. both work well, but for this baby, dr. brown bottles work so much better.. we use gas drops in her bottles which help a ton and we are also using a natural herbal supplement called Gripe Water from Tiny Tummies.. it's AMAZING.. if you have an infant with colic, bad gas, reflux or even hiccups, this stuff ROCKS... you can use it for older kids & adults too.. basically it is made of ginger & fennel extract and it settles an uptight belly.. whatever it really is.. I LOVE IT.. to me.. 7.49 is a an easy price to pay for liquid gold...
she is growing well too.. she currently weighs 9lbs and 7 ounces... growing super well..

Big DD is also going to kindergarten.. we got the letter in the mail today.. she has morning K and goes from 9 am until 11:30 am.. she will be taking the bus.. she is thrilled to just SEE the building this weekend..and we get to go in for orientation on the 21st, it was the time of my 6 week follow up with my OB.. but we can change that.. this is clearly more pressing.. we have started getting things together.. making sure that there are new clothes being bought. school supplies (MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) and just getting ready all the way around.. I think the highlight so far was buying new underwear.. she was just starting to outgrow the older ones.. so time to replace them.. she thought it was just a great back to school thing.. sorta funny.. I plan to get her hair trimmed, if not deeply cut this weekend.. we will see how things progress..

also, DH has some very very good offers of employment on the table as of right now... I don't want to jynx anything.. so I will limit myself and what I will say.. for now..

we are planning a special day out with Dad tomorrow since he won't be able to do much for a while.. atleast not during the day.. we were going to try and go away on vacation, but the baby is just too little and I think waking up a few times a night will be rough on big dd, especially in one hotel room.. we will have to see what comes up..

I am posting this so that I have official start date of the project.. I have a TON of photos.. literally, a ton.. I am sorting through and purging the junk and the photos I don't need or already scrapbooked.. I am tired of the piles.. I want to get his project done as soon as possible because I won't let myself print anything from the baby or this year until this is done.. sorta SUCKS, but it is a project that really really MUST be done and I will feel great once it is..

baby girl is sleeping peacfully in her swing, for the first time, normally, she cries and hates it.. so I am going to take avantage of the time and go make formula for her, clean the kitchen and then come sort photos.. sounds like fun...

If I knew better, I would be going to bed early.. but it's still so early and I have so much I want to get done... oh well.
:) Monique

worst mommy in the world

a post originally written on Thursday of last week..
The worst mommy in the world...
That is how I felt last night.. being consistant and following through is hard.. Let me explain,
older dd has begun to show signs of jealousy.. we are working on spending more direct time with her and being more patient with her.. she has rough hands with the baby, praising her for the good stuff is really working well..
anways, when DH got home from his interview (which went well) I handed off the cranky little one so that I could make brownies with big dd... well, she opened the box and I told her not once, not twice, but 3 times and DH even told her NOT to open up the bag of the mix.. well. .being 5 can be tough and last night, it was... she did not wait for me to get the scissors like I asked her too, instead, she opened up the bag and sent the stuff flying.. EVERYWHERE... might not have been so upset if 1. she had listened & waited for me.. and 2.. if I had just JUST washed the floor that morning..
she was really upset when I said that we could no longer make the brownies.. she didn't listen to my directions and she paid the consequences.. it hurt me more than it did her..broke my heart to see her so upset about it too.. but sometimes, you just have to follow through on what you say..

updated note..
we did make the brownies on sunday morning while little dd took a morning nap and DH slept in.. we also played 4 board games and drew pictures.. it was a good time.. probably better than if we had actually made them on Thursday.. She has what she thinks is 2 brownies in her lunchbox, but it is really only one -- but in half... (gotta love the little kid mind set)... and we had a great time together.. a really great time.. just the two of us...

I do know better this time.. I still would have stuck to my guns and NOT let her make them... sometimes.. it just stinks being a responsible parent..

:) Monique

3 weeks already..

My baby will be 3 weeks tomorrow.. is that possible?? she is cute, but has a lot of gas.. we are thinking it might be from her medication, but we are not sure..

I want to do a big post, but will resort to bullet points..

- she is a strong & healthy baby.. she is focusing more and more.. she picks up her head and uses alot of muscle strength to move / throw herself around.. sleeping okay at night..

- big sister is feeling some jealousy, still working on making her the big focus.. harder to do as the baby is getting bigger and needs more direct attention... working on patience and being gentle..

- working on cleaning up the house.. planning to do the Fly lady cleaning method thing tomorrow.. 27 fling boogie.. throw away 27 things around the house.. could be ANYTHING.. just pitch it and move on.. then box up 27 things and give them away... totally on my list for tomorrow.. 54 things out of my house would be a serious blessing.. the more I try to pitch stuff away, the more I realize that DH is a HUGE pack rat.. I corrupted him...

- I want to scrapbook, badly.. I want to print new photos my baby girl and get them into an album.. which I don't actually own yet.. but I want to do it... badly.. DH needs to get his *hit together and get me photos downloaded so I can do that..

- still trying to the 5 things a day list -- it works as long as I am reasonable about my goals..

- my incision is healing well... still get sore from time to time, but doing well.. (seriously, in my next life, coming back as a daddy.. they get to sit more, hold the baby more and do a whole lot less laundry)

- need to look up some simple recipes for cooking.. getting tired of the same old same old menu..

off to do laundry, empty dishwasher, bathe the little one and then watch Hannah Montana.. OH SO THRILLING.. make big dd bed too..

:) Monique

one of my favorite things..

One of my favorite things about not being pregnant any more.. besides not actually being pregnant, is that I get to kiss my baby all I want.. but other than that.. I get to use scented soaps again..
Bath & Body works made this Rosemary & Mint shower gel a while back.. part of their Bigelow collection.. either way, when it was discounted 75%, I bought a bunch of them... I love the smell of the mint in the shower, so cool and refreshing.. and while I was pregnant, I ended up with rashes and stuff from ANYTHING other than Aveno bath wash.. and this week, I found one last bottle of the minty soap.. and I am using it and LOVING it.... so great to be back to normal..

Baby girl is doing well.. working on reflux issues, they are improving with the Zantac and we are working on finding her rhythm for naps, etc.. she is up to about 3 oz. every 3 hours...she is also a great afternoon napper... loving 2 or 3 hours at a stretch.. can't complain about the nights either..

Big sister is handling things as well as she can.. she works on being gentle and her volume level.. we still work on praising her and focusing more attention on her and the things she likes / wants to do. finding the balance..

dh is looking for work... the rest of the mess is just that.. uglier than ugly.. waiting for info on health insurance and just keeping up..

I personally and working on being healthier and good nutrition... having weighed myself today, once again.. 40 lbs lighter than I was in November.. and I have a beautiful baby.. working on keeping it up... every day is a struggle...

If I knew better.. I would be refiling my water bottle again... and since peanut is waking up soon, I might head off & do that now..

:) Monique

busy weekend..

To help fill up time, I planned for us to go to a BBQ on Saturday and a birthday party today.. just figured it was stuff to keep us busy & not cost us anything... but it was too much.. we had almost no down time at home and that isn't good either.. big DD had a great time... especially today, magician and then swim party.. and then to make it all the better, since we were in the right area, we went to our favorite Mexican resturant.. I only had tacos, but man were they good.. baby girl did not like mexican while I was pregnant and man did I get sick every time I tried... they ROCKED.. on the way home we stopped and got custard - like ice cream - at Rita's.. such a nice treat and great end to the day.. :)

right now, big dd is in bed and DH is feeding little dd on the couch.. and I, I am blogging...
DH is really a great help.. he tries so hard to comfort the baby and to help her.. such a change from the first time... I feel free to do things and am able to ... we even have an arrangement, he gets the bottles, I feed her and put her back to sleep during the night.. with him and the screwy work situation, it's nice to have help with things -- since he doesn't have to get up for work in the morning...

I am planning on getting some scrapbooking done this week.. if baby girl naps well.. which she should & I can get some housework done... still worried about doing too much, with the incision and all... but I am pacing myself..

if I knew better, I would be going to bed soon, but I am really NOT that tired.. yet..
:) Monique

the little things

Okay.. 2 posts, one day.. can you tell DH is watching tv with the little one??

either way, I was reminded tonight of how truly wonderful the little things are in the world..

every night this week, when it's time for big DD to go to bed, we do the normal routine, but after her story, I lay the baby down in bed with her for a few minutes.. strangely, the baby never cries.. even when heavy handed Miranda starts poking her (getting ready for things to come I think) but the two of them just lay here.. Miranda giggles the whole time about her being there and tries to snuggle her up, the baby just lays there.. melts my heart to see such a small thing as this make them both so happy...

After DH takes the baby, I was putting Miranda to bed and for the first time in MONTHS, I was able to lay down in bed beside her, my belly is hurting less and less as the days since my c-section pass and I am able to do more and more... she was so excited to have me actually laying with her.. made me smile.. I felt truly loved, appreciated and missed...

the best things in life truly are the little things...

if I knew better, I would be journaling these memories for scrapbook pages to come.. good thing this blog has a history of all the things I blog..

:) Monique

A rough start...

Some of my good friends who read this blog are concerned and questioning baby girl's rough start into the world.. so, as promised, by birth story:

Monday, June 30, at 11:26 am, my baby girl made her arrival, weighing in at exactly 8lbs and 21 1/2 inches long.

one of my nurses put it best, she decided to go scuba diving without her snorkel.. she swallowed very big several times just before being delivered, her lungs were so full of fluid that she was delivered blue and was not breathing. they took, what seemed like years, but about only about a minute to resesitate her.. she needed oxygen right away.. it was much later in the evening, almost 7:30 pm before I really even got to lay my eyes on her.. I didn't get to hold her long either, they were pushing to get her back on the warmers & I was not feeling well.. too much epidural made me drift in and out for a long long time, it was almost midnight before I had full feelings in my legs..

Because of the c-section and the drugs, I was not allowed to have her in my room since I was alone and my reaction time wasn't what it needed to be.. but by 7:30 that morning, after begging to see her at 2 and 5 am, they finally said they would help me go to the nursery.. there were no nurses who could bring her to me or sit with me, PLUS, they were very concerned and needed her under the warmer more than anything else.. around 8:40 I finally got to hold her at length. I spent most of the day being rolled back & forth to the nursery.. later than night she was released to me because DH was going to be there to visit with us. they too her back overnight.

later on Wednesday, they told me that her billirubin was high and that they wanted to do the photo therapy treatment.. I had a visitor, so I let the nurse take her back to the nursery for me, when I got there, I figured I could just sit with her and wait for the treatment to be done.. it was then that I was told that she needed an iv for dehydration -- she had been a very pokey and poor eater most of the first few days, but I was told that was all normal... I was in tears by the time I saw the iv hook up and then was told that I could not even HOLD her for the next 24 hours since she was so jaundice and needed the treatment... I sat by her warmer as much as I could.. the nurses in the NICU were so wonderful to me.. we were the only baby in there being intensively watched. this hospital really was a God's blessing to me... so the right decision for all of us..

Thursday, I was up early and walked down to the nursery and was told that the blood check was not as good as it needed to be and she would be spending another day getting photo therapy treatment, only this time, she would need to lay on a fiber optic blanket as well as the lights so that she would be doubly treated and that we had to limit the time out to even shorter periods of time.. as in a feeding and 5 minutes TOPS... my smart little cookie figured out that if she acted really hungry, rooting at the blankets & such, that they would take her out and try to feed her as often as once and hour... she would eat like 10 cc, which is NOTHING and then she got to snuggle with me some..

by Friday morning, I had been down for all of her feedings through the night and was just waiting for her blood work.. while I was at the nursing station getting my medication, they were bringing her back to me... blood check was good and she was likely to be released WITH me.. YEAH!
we spent the whole of Friday morning, snuggled up in my bed together.. making up for lost time..

We came Friday afternoon and although that night was rough, she is doing really well.. her weight is up and things are good.. over the course of this week, she has caught her sister's cold, but it seems more like reflux issues... we'll see..
if older dd & I gave my husband gray hair, this little peanut is going to make him bald..

she is a strong and healthy peanut who is going to keep her mom & dad on their toes!
I am just glad that she is here and healthy... everything else will work itself out in time..

If I knew better, I would still be smiling about my new angel..
:) Monique

super dirty...

I know that I owe this blog a birth story, I promise to get to it this week.. just playing catch up with everything in my life right now.. I was hoping to be able to just jump back in a do all the things that I couldn't do when I was pregnant, but I forgot that it will take about 6 weeks for my body and muscles to get back to normal.. I have been seriously over doing and feeling the pain...
Today I am doing nothing buy laundry...

seriously, I was in the hospital 5 days, and I was up late on Sunday before I went in doing laundry, wanted to be sure all was clean before I left.. and today, I am washing every single towel in my house.. EVERY ONE.. I have like 15 or so big bath towels and somehow, someway, every single one of them got used.. now, I know this might sound gross to some people, but in the effort of going green, we each use a towel at least twice.. seriously, you are clean when you use it, just sucking up water, so I use them 2 times.. and last week, most of my big dd showers were taken at my sister's house because DH need help washing her hair. seriously, how & when did all these towels get dirty.. did they have a dirty party while I was in there with my sweet little dd?? either way, dh will be hauling A LOT of laundry up and down the stairs today..

speaking of DH, he is being super about things right now, he is dealing with alot of junk with work, but is really attentive to both girls and making the best of things.. kills him that he isn't providing for the girls they way he wants to.. he admitted that he already felt like a failure to his littlest daughter before she was born because of this lack of financial support with work.. but honestly, I told -- if money is how you measure being a good day, then you have a lousy way of keeping score. money is only money and sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't.. you make it work.. best you can do.. but he is really loving being a dad again, big DD could sense all of his fears and anxiety and this time, he has let it all go.. just loving the time he has with both of them.. also his foot is doing much better.. the boot or walking cast is serving him well, no more crutches for him, he should be using them, but walks better without them.. likely to need a chiropractor when he is done to realign his back and hip gate.. but we will see..

I am off to switch the first load of laundry and check on DH, thinking baby girl is in need of a bottle by now.. she is up to 2 1/2 or so ounces every 3 or 4 hours.. for now, it's okay to have her eat when she likes, but soon, we will be scheduling things a little bit better.. especially naps in her bed.. must remember to research that one..

Okay, if I knew better, I would head upstairs and get some housework done before my energy poops out a bit and baby girl needs her next nap, which I plan to take with her, but for now, just gonna check another email or two....

:) Monique

1 week old...

this is not a real blog entry, just something to update.. I promise more info on the past week will be coming... but in the meantime..

My baby is one week old.. I am having a hard time believing it..
after such a rough start, she is doing so well..
she is regaining some of the weight she lost and is up to almost 3oz. at each feeding.. she does it every 3 1/2 hours, but she is a super content and happy baby.. you can put her down just about anywhere and she is content with her surroundings..
she is also a good sleeper.. through the night she eats and goes right back to sleep... or coos to herself until she does.. just a happy baby..
I am truly blessed..
Big sister is loving life with her baby sister.. so into being around her, kissing her all the time, begging to hold her, etc. we are remembering to comment on every little thing she does.. how awesome she is doing etc.. working out well..

With all the craziness in my life the last 6 months, it's such an amazing blessing to have my little family together and happy and healthy and for that, I am truly grateful...

If I knew better, I would still be this happy...
:) Monique

one last post...

This is the last post as a mommy of one..
tomorrow is the big day, most of the list got done.. and what didn't, didn't..
I refuse to stress over it... no one will notice anyways..

I am typing a list of directions for DH now and then I am finishing one last load of laundry..
hoping for a 10pm bed, but it is honestly looking more like 10:30.. but that is the latest..
5 am comes pretty early.. well, more lke 5:30..
I am very much excited and so it all of my little family.. tomorrow, in less than 12 hours, we will be a little bit bigger and I will be a little bit more comfy.. TRULY... can't wait..
seeing my precious little angel, what ever her name might be.. will be worth it all.. I know it will..

post again in about a week or so..
:) Monique

the list.....

the list of things I want to do is much longer than the list of things I can reasonably GET done...
I would love to have my house all cleaned up before I leave, I sorta feel like I want things together and looking good..like somehow, people will be at my house while i am in the hospital..
UMmm.. not going to happen.. and if we do happen to have visitors here afterwards, if they can look into the sweet little face and then comment that my floors are less than perfect.. they have issues.. NOT ME..

but I do have things that need to be done-- many just because it is going to make DH's life easier.

1. laundry -- getting some of it done..
2. clean the bathroom
3. quick vaccuumm all over, which I think DH is actually going to do.
4. clean fridge
5. trash
6. dishwasher run
7. grocery store
8. stop at the mail box
9. lists of things for DD instructions -- dad's never pay attention to all the little things you do, like brushing a girl's hair BEFORE she goes to bed because it makes the knots easier to get out in the am.. DD has longish thick hair and this can be painful in the am..
10. iron & match up clothes for DD for summer camp..

do these things HAVE to be done.. NO, they don't, I know I will feel better resting if they are.. and DH life will just be a little easier.. Miranda is promising to help..

we have been invited to a dinner to visit with an out of town cousin, and I think even though we won't stay long, we are going to go.. just a chance to get out and also, I can not have to cook dinner, so I can run the dishwasher earlier and empty it before bed.. hmmm.. might all work with my evil plan at attempting to acheive perfection... might just work..
either way, at some point tommorow.. I can getting ice cream.. preferably with strawberry sauce and whipped cream.. nuts would be a protein bonus... we'll have to work on making that one happen most of all -- should definitely put that on the list...

If I knew better, I would be cleaning up from my day out scrapbooking.. but I need to switch laundry and head to bed.. this is going to be my last night to sleep, last night to sleep in (Sunday is DH day to sleep late) and get a great night sleep.. things are about to change.. and I being a person who is never good with change.. I am genuinely looking forward to it :)

Night..
:) Monique

two days...

that is all I have left.. and I am truly grateful.
did the whole pre-op stuff today.. blood work etc...
I am still carrying this little one so HIGH, that I doubt she will be here before she is evicted on Monday..
DD is kissing up my belly all the time now, DH is talking to my belly all the time now..
we are all just ready to meet and greet the newest member of the family..
looking forward to it too..

I am very uncomfortable, I have a basketball between me and everything else that I do.. literally, the baby is still very very high.. I long for the days of my pregnancy with first DD, she was breech and her pelvis rested so nicely in mine, while I was sicker over all with her, atelast I didn't feel this way at the end.

DD wants to play on the computer.. so I am off..
we are seeing Wall-E when DH is done with work stuff.. she is so excited..
:) Monique

the good & the bad..

Yesterday I felt good.. really good.. but also spent time resting.. that is all good..

today, I feel lousy. just contractions, pain, discomfort and yuck.. that is bad..
I am still resting alot (good) and not getting the small list of things I have to do --done (bad)

my last card swap came in and I swapped out and ran to the post office and got them all out (good)
also got some swaps I was responsible for in the next few months out (good)
and sent off a package to my May secret pal (good) and sent off some RAK's (Random Acts of Kindness) to some wonderful women on the dmarie message board (felt VERY good)

dh job.. well, his boss (bad, so very very bad)

my splitting headache (bad)

getting Dh in his walking cast to the x-ray place -- hopefully today (good)

feeling like this sweet little angel of mine might actually come early (good ... very very good)

If I knew better. I would be laying down for a few minutes before picking up DD and taking DH for his x-ray.. but I still have more emails to read...

more another time..
:) Monique

acceptance...

I don't know what it is, maybe I rested more today than I have been, or maybe a good mood swing or maybe I have just accepted that this baby is not coming until Monday when she is evicted...
either way, I am feeling much better than I have been lately... not tons, but I am just.. accepting it better.. who knows..
my only wish is that I could sleep better.. I really have a hard time with that.. I will definitely be taking my doctor approved Ambien tonight.. I need it..

on a good note, DH got a walking cast from the foot doctor today.. we are were both so grateful.. we woo hoo-ed in sync ... the doctor laughed as he walked out to get the cast.. he is so excited.. he is walking on it some and using one crutch.. so proud of him.. the doctor said that he really was a great patient about it too.. he said that the amount of swelling change was huge.. he could tell that he was being good, staying off it, resting, elevating, using the bone stimulator, etc.. it was a rough time, but he did it.. and tonight, while I was picking up my sister at the airport (which, by the way is a HUGE story in stupidity, best saved for another day, since this is supposed to be a positive post) he took out the trash.. I was so nervous, glad I was not home to witness it.. but he was proud of himself and DD was thrilled that she helped too.. they both felt like they had done some major chore.. and you know what.. they did.. I think that is the job that I hate doing the most since his foot has been broken.. we have to go for another x-ray soon, hopefully tomorrow, and see for real how things are doing.. :) so happy for him.. okay, me too..

tomorrow I have my last baby appt. with my dr. sorta' exciting, with DD, she came that night, because he told me that she wasn't going to come until he delivered her.. can I say that would ROCK, but I am NOT holding my breathe.. like I said, it's all about acceptance right now..

I made plans to take DD out with her little friend for dinner.. chicken nuggets.. AGAIN.. I plan to do better with her diet after the baby gets here.. some things are just not worth the fight.... but this week she licked a nectarine & a plum.. not a bite, but a lick.. both need to be noted on the calendar as something new.. she is not the fruit eating type, so this was HUGE for her.. trying to get back to the one new thing each week for the calendar... trying.. it is all anyone can really ask for...

one last thing that I have started to accept is that the baby's name is making me NUTS.. we have been using her name when we talk to her in my belly, or talk about her, her things, and all of that.... but it is bothering me.. we might be changing it.. I am waiting until I see what she looks like and go from there..

oh well..

If I knew better, I would be still be sitting her relaxing, blogging and doing yet one more load of laundry... trying to keep up with that as the week goes on.. on less thing for DH to do next week.. but we'll see..
:) Monique

officially ready

Okay.. this sweet baby can officially come ANY DAY NOW..
ANY DAY!

Today, I did all the things I needed to get done at home.. and while I still have a sink full of dishes to do, they will wait until tomorrow..

1. the laundry is done.. it's really caught up as much as I can be..
2. my bag is completely packed for the hospital - I picked up a prescription for lip medication today, just in case I need it.
3. DH reassembled a newly cleaned up car seat and promises to hook it in properly in the AM.
4. baby's room is done, all her laundry is clean and we have all we really need to get us started, except a tub, but I have hinted to my sisters that I need one, and my older sister plans to take my daughter shopping when she comes home for the holiday weekend.. don't need a real tub right away ANYWAYS.. and my other sister is buying me more bibs.
5. DD clothes are cleaned and ironed.. DH just has to let her pick out an outfit to wear... I have at least 8 outfits ready to go..
6. camp directions and lunch box directions are taped to the fridge
7. bottles are washed and drying as we speak
8. I am printing out the list of phone calls for DH to make at the hospital, well the numbers at least..
9. my immediate bag with disposable camera, health insurance and medical forms is hanging on the banister next to my suitcase..
10. the house is reasonably cleaned..
11. there is food in the house to get them by and enough snacks for DD lunch box too..

seriously, NOTHING is undone.. so anytime...

If I knew better, I would be saying that I am thinking optimistically for the first time in a while, but let's not get ahead of ourselves..

:) Monique

t minus one week..

One week from tonight, I will be going to bed early for an early morning wake up..
I have to be at the hospital for 7 am to have this beautiful baby girl.. I can't wait to see her...
I am not the praying type, really, it's just not in my nature, my mom would be quite disappointed to hear me admitting that.. but she knew before she passed how I felt..
either way.. I PRAY for her to come early.. I really have nothing left..
I am spent, miserable and really ready to pick a fight with the next person who starts ANYTHING with me.. my daughter is as sweet as sweet can be, but I have very little left and even she is starting to wear down my patience..
I am tired, really really tired and fed up with things that are just beyond my control..
I can't change my situation and honestly, I am getting nervous because there is soon to be one more person who needs me.. and probably needs me the most...
but I won't be pregnant any more and I think that will help enormously.. because right now... I feel enormous.. mind you, I am lighter than when I started and I am thrilled, but I am carrying high and OH FORGET IT...
I have complained about all of this before, probably even for months..

So to all you women out there who love being pregnant.. my hat is off to you.. may you ride yourself happily into the warm sunset with your large glowing belly, me, I just want my beautiful baby OUT!

if I knew better.. I would be in bed already, but the laundry, dishwasher and camp lunchboxes waits for no mommy, no matter how pregnant she is..

Good night.... I am off to take my sleeping pill because without it, I can't get any sleep at all anymore..

Monique

Catch up...

so I fell off the blog wagon for a while.. I was good and then whenever I sat down to blog all I wanted to do was complain about being pregnant and figured that no one, including myself needed to read that, so I skipped it..

To catch up, we saw my dr. on Tuesday and things look good, I lost another 4 lbs. and the baby is still getting bigger -- so woo hoo and yeah.. but I am really starting to feel the necessity to be done.. my coping skills with just about everything are starting to waver and as much as DH wants me to wait until the 30th to have the baby, he can see how truly unhappy and I am hopes like me for the baby to make her way any day now.. even the woman who does the pre-stuff for my dr. says that she can see it all over my face that I am just ready to be done.. I think the worse part for me is that my headaches, which I don't think I have mentioned before, are back.. I suffer from headaches that can blow up into migranes.. fortunately, the migranes have been at bay for a few years, but the headaches do come and go.. but atleast they go.. I saw 3 neurologists and had physical therapy for about a year.. the headaches lasted just about 2 1/2 years.. chronic daily headache, eventually, I gave up on the medications and therapy and just accepted it.. either way, they are back and I am back on tylenol pretty regularly..

I also got the cleaning bug, decided yesterday that my living room & kitchen needed cleaning, and when I clean these rooms, I do it all, move things around, dust, etc.. took me just over 4 hours because of the constant start & stop with rest breaks, but it's done.. and while it felt good to be a in a clean out, the pain settled in quickly, left me dizzy, tired and pain...

the contractions are back and not just form all the housework, mostly at night, when I am supposed to be sleeping, I have tons and tons of pressure and then contractions start.. not enough to send me to the hospital, but enough to keep me up, constantly going to the bathroom and just overall pain and uncomfortable...

and today, when I get up to get Dh a drink he looks at me and comments something about me being really pregnant and looking like twins.. JERK! mind you, I am wearing these overall shorts, while not the most flattering look for a pregnant woman or a woman my size, they are super comfy and just plain wonderful to wear.. well, I have popped and am carrying high so I look HUGE and the overalls just emphasize it.. it's okay, I have 9 days until my c-section and I am officially 22 lbs lighter than when I started this pregnancy and I look HUGE, aren't I supposed to?? either way, I didn't need DH to point it out.. he feels bad but enjoyed the giggle..
I know he didn't mean it meanly, but in the last 2 days, I really have popped...

also, the baby is moving tons and tons.. today while sitting on the couch, Dh laughed because he could actually see my belly moving all on it's own.. he slide over on the couch and felt the kicks.. and really enjoyed them.. yeah, from the outside they are all fun and silly, try them from the inside buddy.. we are thinking or estimating that she will be about 8lbs or so.. DD was 7 lbs 3 oz.. we'll see.. I keep hoping that her kicks will get my water breaking sooner and then she comes right away... fingers crossed..

dh job is still his job...

but our car is getting fixed today and apprarently, the work to be done is covered under our warranty, so only 2oo bucks, as opposed to something much much higher.... soo, finally some good news ...

well, other than the bad sandwich I had today, that is just about it..(I hate it when you order a sandwich, all excited and totally into it and they mess it up, but you don't realize it until you are home and sink your teeth into it.. seriously, who eats grilled pepper chicken with spicy cheese and lettuce and honey mustard.. so not what me or the baby was craving.. even DH didn't like it.. YUCK... I am so done with that place..

okay.. off to do other things.. my brain is fried and I am tired of just about everything, so I don't think I could know any better on any subject right now..
:) Monique