worst mommy in the world

a post originally written on Thursday of last week..
The worst mommy in the world...
That is how I felt last night.. being consistant and following through is hard.. Let me explain,
older dd has begun to show signs of jealousy.. we are working on spending more direct time with her and being more patient with her.. she has rough hands with the baby, praising her for the good stuff is really working well..
anways, when DH got home from his interview (which went well) I handed off the cranky little one so that I could make brownies with big dd... well, she opened the box and I told her not once, not twice, but 3 times and DH even told her NOT to open up the bag of the mix.. well. .being 5 can be tough and last night, it was... she did not wait for me to get the scissors like I asked her too, instead, she opened up the bag and sent the stuff flying.. EVERYWHERE... might not have been so upset if 1. she had listened & waited for me.. and 2.. if I had just JUST washed the floor that morning..
she was really upset when I said that we could no longer make the brownies.. she didn't listen to my directions and she paid the consequences.. it hurt me more than it did her..broke my heart to see her so upset about it too.. but sometimes, you just have to follow through on what you say..

updated note..
we did make the brownies on sunday morning while little dd took a morning nap and DH slept in.. we also played 4 board games and drew pictures.. it was a good time.. probably better than if we had actually made them on Thursday.. She has what she thinks is 2 brownies in her lunchbox, but it is really only one -- but in half... (gotta love the little kid mind set)... and we had a great time together.. a really great time.. just the two of us...

I do know better this time.. I still would have stuck to my guns and NOT let her make them... sometimes.. it just stinks being a responsible parent..

:) Monique