Monday, May 26, 2008

best of both worlds..

Today was just too crazy for words.. if I wrote about it.. oh forget it-- just better off forgetting the whole day.. suffice to say, the baby is okay..

yesterday was however, a great day.. we did have pj sunday, but we all hung out here in the basement.. Miranda played on the computer, did some free art projects with her box of stuff, played dress up and other things while I did some of my scrapping and clean up, DH did his thing.. not forever, but an hour or two.. it was so nice to play as a family and do the things we all enjoy, just conversing, playing back & forth with Miranda.. all in all.. great morning..

in the afternoon, the weather was nice enough for the beach.. there is a beach not too far from here, (okay, this is Rhode Island, nothing is far from anywhere) that we love to go to. it brings me happy memories and great doughboys.. the beach is called Oakland Beach, it is by far not the most scenic beach in the ocean state, but it is fun.. the coolest part is the seaside stand that sells the best food.. clam cakes & chowder and doughboys.. My parents used to go here when they were dating and I remember going with just my parents and younger sister more than I recall going with my family.. either way, it was a great day to just sit in the sun, dig with a pail & shovel and walk a little in the water.. of course, when my daughter when for a walk down the beach with my sister and her dog.. ummm.. she fell in.. so funny because I was sitting on the beach blanket watching them through the zoom of my camera and snapping photos.. still makes me giggle..

On a day like this, we would have brought my mom with us.. she always LOVED this place, not just because of the happy memories she had there with my dad, but because she loved the view, the breeze and the peace.. she also loved the seagulls.. I truly believe that this is one of those places that she found God and just enjoyed the whole scene.. eat a few doughboys and the world was a good place.. I admitted to my DH on the way that I was really looking forward to going because I missed my mom and this is where I find her. I feel the peace that she felt there.. I feel and I can smile and remember her fondly.. I even found myself expressing this to my brother's girlfriend today.. she spoke about going to the cemetery.. I don't go to the cemetery.. probably because I was not raised to, my mom never took us to see my grandparents, so I don't really do it either.. When I need to remember my mom, I go to Oakland Beach.... her spirit soars there and I smile ... I miss my mom alot, especially as the birth of my baby is coming closer.. I wish more than anything that she too would have had the relationship my daughter had with her.. I just hope Miranda' s memory is good enough for both of them..

I am just too tired from the drugs earlier today and too tired from the stress to even think about thinking better.. so I might just go to bed..
:) Monique

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay-you've got me tearing up now with the memories of your mom....I know from your posts how special she was. I am like her with the beach, my beach is avalon, nj-I find God there, peace, etc.-love watching the waves, the gulls and just being. thanks for sharing! Cathy aka cz scrap

AlehouseGirl said...

I love this post. I think doing just what you are doing, sharing the memories you have, is fantastic. I was young when my dad's parents passed away and hearing stories of what they were like, what the did, where they went, and what they loved went a long way in allowing me to know them. I especially loved hearing how something I do or say resembles them in some way. It makes me better understand where I come from and who I come from. You don't have to have met someone to know them. Your little girl will always have her memere's love, it just happens to be coming through stories and memories from you.