Being a parent is not for wimps.. I knew this long ago, but had it confirmed tonight..
we were having dinner, dh and I were having general taos sauce with beef stripes and peppers over rice (sorta like a stir fry style, but the sauce.. OH so yummy, must love target)
knowing big dd would NEVER eat this, I sauted her up the beef plain.. served it with rice, a little cheese and a few taco chips.. this way, she wasn't having steak, it was tacos. usually, this would work.. well, she ate a bite or two then announced she would not eat it.. DH tells her no more rice or other things on her plate, eat the meat.. she refuses.. he patiently waits and then tells her that if she does not want to eat, that she can leave the table and go to bed.. we have been having MAJOR eating issues with her.. she refuses to eat dinner.. now, I know that kids won't let themselves starve, but she is just being a MAJOR pain.. knowing the come breakfast she can eat again..
well, she opts for the bed .. little stinker.. so we start getting her ready adn stuff.. then she realizes that NO one would be putting her to bed.. she starts bawling her eyes out.. FINALLY, it sinks in.. hearing rant & rave about it, the baby gets all cranky and joins in... dh leaves the table with the big, I try to soothe the little, (who really just needed a good solid burp) he gets her ready for bed and tucks her in.. she cries foe what seems like ever, but really only 10 minutes or so..
I know it isn't easy, but this is what we said and we have to follow through.. we did talk about it to once she was in her room.. did we do the right thing? are we sending the right message??
honestly, being a parent is HARD.. well, a good parent anyways.. knowing if what you are doing is the right thing isn't easy.. you have to think things through from all angles, especially the kid angle... my heart was breaking listening to her cry in her bed.. when I said that to dh he suggested that I go in and tell her that.. so I did.. I told her how hurt I am when she does not eat what I make for her, especially when I make it especially for her, and that when she cries like this it bugs me.. but I need to help her make the right choices.. and that means helping her to eat healthy things too... she did calm down and stop crying some.. she felt bad, not my intention, but I think she understands that putting her to bed early was not easy for me either..
now, I know that some people will read this and think that I am over-analyzing.. but honestly.. I worry about what I do to my children and what message I am sending them.. I want to be a good parent & role model for her.. I want her to know that I am human, I make mistakes and I try hard but sometimes, I get it wrong..
seriously, parenthood is not for wimps.. if I could pass that along to all those young girls who think having a baby is all easy and fun.. it's not.. it's work and hard and heartbreaking.. but wonderful and rewarding too -- but that comes with time, patience & effort...
okay, off my soapbox and back to cleaning up a little more..
if I knew better.. I just don't think I do tonight.. I know what I know... that's all
:) Monique
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3 comments:
If my kids don't like what I make, I show them the jar of peanut butter, jelly, and bread. Older dd will do this, being the pickiest of the two. She is ten now, and probably hasn't done this for a year.
see.. mine would HAPPILY live on peanut butter if I let her..
just not sure what is worth the fight sometimes though...
Dd is a picky eater-I probably should've done what you are. But now, at 17 if she doesnt' want what we eat, she's pretty much reponsible for making her own dinner(I make sure we eat veggies she likes)-usually pasta or chicken nuggets. I'm safe with Italian food, she'll eat that, but no meat other than chicken nuggets or hot dogs. I've found that apologizing goes a long way, of course only when I am truly wrong-lol, with our relationship. She really appreciates it and she apologizes to me too(most of the time). I did what you did and I think it teaches them how to relate to other people. I think you are doing an awesome job with your girls!!Just make sure the tears are manipulative and you'll do fine.
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