a month

baby girl is officially a month old.. that is as of yesterday.. we celebrated in style too.. we bought some mini-cupcakes, which big dd got to eat and sang to her like 3 times.. sorta neat.. we did this for big dd too.. sorta a custom for my husband..
I need to take a photo of the baby with her frog, I plan to do this every month.. I also need to get her professional portraits done soon.. as in .. saturday or maybe in friday.. will have to wait and see what the time brings..
her appt. with the ENT about her breathing was promising, basically, her reflux is aggrivating her immature skin covering the larynx, there is a fancy name for it..but I can't say it, let alone spell it.. but she should will all likelyhood, out grow the problem.. we just need to keep an eye on it and see how things progress.. controlling her reflux is more the big concern.. we have taken very pro-active steps to help with that too.. we switched bottles from Avent to Dr. Brown.. a good friend gave me the dr. browns.. they are excellent and even cost less than avent bottles.. both work well, but for this baby, dr. brown bottles work so much better.. we use gas drops in her bottles which help a ton and we are also using a natural herbal supplement called Gripe Water from Tiny Tummies.. it's AMAZING.. if you have an infant with colic, bad gas, reflux or even hiccups, this stuff ROCKS... you can use it for older kids & adults too.. basically it is made of ginger & fennel extract and it settles an uptight belly.. whatever it really is.. I LOVE IT.. to me.. 7.49 is a an easy price to pay for liquid gold...
she is growing well too.. she currently weighs 9lbs and 7 ounces... growing super well..

Big DD is also going to kindergarten.. we got the letter in the mail today.. she has morning K and goes from 9 am until 11:30 am.. she will be taking the bus.. she is thrilled to just SEE the building this weekend..and we get to go in for orientation on the 21st, it was the time of my 6 week follow up with my OB.. but we can change that.. this is clearly more pressing.. we have started getting things together.. making sure that there are new clothes being bought. school supplies (MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) and just getting ready all the way around.. I think the highlight so far was buying new underwear.. she was just starting to outgrow the older ones.. so time to replace them.. she thought it was just a great back to school thing.. sorta funny.. I plan to get her hair trimmed, if not deeply cut this weekend.. we will see how things progress..

also, DH has some very very good offers of employment on the table as of right now... I don't want to jynx anything.. so I will limit myself and what I will say.. for now..

we are planning a special day out with Dad tomorrow since he won't be able to do much for a while.. atleast not during the day.. we were going to try and go away on vacation, but the baby is just too little and I think waking up a few times a night will be rough on big dd, especially in one hotel room.. we will have to see what comes up..

I am posting this so that I have official start date of the project.. I have a TON of photos.. literally, a ton.. I am sorting through and purging the junk and the photos I don't need or already scrapbooked.. I am tired of the piles.. I want to get his project done as soon as possible because I won't let myself print anything from the baby or this year until this is done.. sorta SUCKS, but it is a project that really really MUST be done and I will feel great once it is..

baby girl is sleeping peacfully in her swing, for the first time, normally, she cries and hates it.. so I am going to take avantage of the time and go make formula for her, clean the kitchen and then come sort photos.. sounds like fun...

If I knew better, I would be going to bed early.. but it's still so early and I have so much I want to get done... oh well.
:) Monique

worst mommy in the world

a post originally written on Thursday of last week..
The worst mommy in the world...
That is how I felt last night.. being consistant and following through is hard.. Let me explain,
older dd has begun to show signs of jealousy.. we are working on spending more direct time with her and being more patient with her.. she has rough hands with the baby, praising her for the good stuff is really working well..
anways, when DH got home from his interview (which went well) I handed off the cranky little one so that I could make brownies with big dd... well, she opened the box and I told her not once, not twice, but 3 times and DH even told her NOT to open up the bag of the mix.. well. .being 5 can be tough and last night, it was... she did not wait for me to get the scissors like I asked her too, instead, she opened up the bag and sent the stuff flying.. EVERYWHERE... might not have been so upset if 1. she had listened & waited for me.. and 2.. if I had just JUST washed the floor that morning..
she was really upset when I said that we could no longer make the brownies.. she didn't listen to my directions and she paid the consequences.. it hurt me more than it did her..broke my heart to see her so upset about it too.. but sometimes, you just have to follow through on what you say..

updated note..
we did make the brownies on sunday morning while little dd took a morning nap and DH slept in.. we also played 4 board games and drew pictures.. it was a good time.. probably better than if we had actually made them on Thursday.. She has what she thinks is 2 brownies in her lunchbox, but it is really only one -- but in half... (gotta love the little kid mind set)... and we had a great time together.. a really great time.. just the two of us...

I do know better this time.. I still would have stuck to my guns and NOT let her make them... sometimes.. it just stinks being a responsible parent..

:) Monique

3 weeks already..

My baby will be 3 weeks tomorrow.. is that possible?? she is cute, but has a lot of gas.. we are thinking it might be from her medication, but we are not sure..

I want to do a big post, but will resort to bullet points..

- she is a strong & healthy baby.. she is focusing more and more.. she picks up her head and uses alot of muscle strength to move / throw herself around.. sleeping okay at night..

- big sister is feeling some jealousy, still working on making her the big focus.. harder to do as the baby is getting bigger and needs more direct attention... working on patience and being gentle..

- working on cleaning up the house.. planning to do the Fly lady cleaning method thing tomorrow.. 27 fling boogie.. throw away 27 things around the house.. could be ANYTHING.. just pitch it and move on.. then box up 27 things and give them away... totally on my list for tomorrow.. 54 things out of my house would be a serious blessing.. the more I try to pitch stuff away, the more I realize that DH is a HUGE pack rat.. I corrupted him...

- I want to scrapbook, badly.. I want to print new photos my baby girl and get them into an album.. which I don't actually own yet.. but I want to do it... badly.. DH needs to get his *hit together and get me photos downloaded so I can do that..

- still trying to the 5 things a day list -- it works as long as I am reasonable about my goals..

- my incision is healing well... still get sore from time to time, but doing well.. (seriously, in my next life, coming back as a daddy.. they get to sit more, hold the baby more and do a whole lot less laundry)

- need to look up some simple recipes for cooking.. getting tired of the same old same old menu..

off to do laundry, empty dishwasher, bathe the little one and then watch Hannah Montana.. OH SO THRILLING.. make big dd bed too..

:) Monique

one of my favorite things..

One of my favorite things about not being pregnant any more.. besides not actually being pregnant, is that I get to kiss my baby all I want.. but other than that.. I get to use scented soaps again..
Bath & Body works made this Rosemary & Mint shower gel a while back.. part of their Bigelow collection.. either way, when it was discounted 75%, I bought a bunch of them... I love the smell of the mint in the shower, so cool and refreshing.. and while I was pregnant, I ended up with rashes and stuff from ANYTHING other than Aveno bath wash.. and this week, I found one last bottle of the minty soap.. and I am using it and LOVING it.... so great to be back to normal..

Baby girl is doing well.. working on reflux issues, they are improving with the Zantac and we are working on finding her rhythm for naps, etc.. she is up to about 3 oz. every 3 hours...she is also a great afternoon napper... loving 2 or 3 hours at a stretch.. can't complain about the nights either..

Big sister is handling things as well as she can.. she works on being gentle and her volume level.. we still work on praising her and focusing more attention on her and the things she likes / wants to do. finding the balance..

dh is looking for work... the rest of the mess is just that.. uglier than ugly.. waiting for info on health insurance and just keeping up..

I personally and working on being healthier and good nutrition... having weighed myself today, once again.. 40 lbs lighter than I was in November.. and I have a beautiful baby.. working on keeping it up... every day is a struggle...

If I knew better.. I would be refiling my water bottle again... and since peanut is waking up soon, I might head off & do that now..

:) Monique

busy weekend..

To help fill up time, I planned for us to go to a BBQ on Saturday and a birthday party today.. just figured it was stuff to keep us busy & not cost us anything... but it was too much.. we had almost no down time at home and that isn't good either.. big DD had a great time... especially today, magician and then swim party.. and then to make it all the better, since we were in the right area, we went to our favorite Mexican resturant.. I only had tacos, but man were they good.. baby girl did not like mexican while I was pregnant and man did I get sick every time I tried... they ROCKED.. on the way home we stopped and got custard - like ice cream - at Rita's.. such a nice treat and great end to the day.. :)

right now, big dd is in bed and DH is feeding little dd on the couch.. and I, I am blogging...
DH is really a great help.. he tries so hard to comfort the baby and to help her.. such a change from the first time... I feel free to do things and am able to ... we even have an arrangement, he gets the bottles, I feed her and put her back to sleep during the night.. with him and the screwy work situation, it's nice to have help with things -- since he doesn't have to get up for work in the morning...

I am planning on getting some scrapbooking done this week.. if baby girl naps well.. which she should & I can get some housework done... still worried about doing too much, with the incision and all... but I am pacing myself..

if I knew better, I would be going to bed soon, but I am really NOT that tired.. yet..
:) Monique

the little things

Okay.. 2 posts, one day.. can you tell DH is watching tv with the little one??

either way, I was reminded tonight of how truly wonderful the little things are in the world..

every night this week, when it's time for big DD to go to bed, we do the normal routine, but after her story, I lay the baby down in bed with her for a few minutes.. strangely, the baby never cries.. even when heavy handed Miranda starts poking her (getting ready for things to come I think) but the two of them just lay here.. Miranda giggles the whole time about her being there and tries to snuggle her up, the baby just lays there.. melts my heart to see such a small thing as this make them both so happy...

After DH takes the baby, I was putting Miranda to bed and for the first time in MONTHS, I was able to lay down in bed beside her, my belly is hurting less and less as the days since my c-section pass and I am able to do more and more... she was so excited to have me actually laying with her.. made me smile.. I felt truly loved, appreciated and missed...

the best things in life truly are the little things...

if I knew better, I would be journaling these memories for scrapbook pages to come.. good thing this blog has a history of all the things I blog..

:) Monique

A rough start...

Some of my good friends who read this blog are concerned and questioning baby girl's rough start into the world.. so, as promised, by birth story:

Monday, June 30, at 11:26 am, my baby girl made her arrival, weighing in at exactly 8lbs and 21 1/2 inches long.

one of my nurses put it best, she decided to go scuba diving without her snorkel.. she swallowed very big several times just before being delivered, her lungs were so full of fluid that she was delivered blue and was not breathing. they took, what seemed like years, but about only about a minute to resesitate her.. she needed oxygen right away.. it was much later in the evening, almost 7:30 pm before I really even got to lay my eyes on her.. I didn't get to hold her long either, they were pushing to get her back on the warmers & I was not feeling well.. too much epidural made me drift in and out for a long long time, it was almost midnight before I had full feelings in my legs..

Because of the c-section and the drugs, I was not allowed to have her in my room since I was alone and my reaction time wasn't what it needed to be.. but by 7:30 that morning, after begging to see her at 2 and 5 am, they finally said they would help me go to the nursery.. there were no nurses who could bring her to me or sit with me, PLUS, they were very concerned and needed her under the warmer more than anything else.. around 8:40 I finally got to hold her at length. I spent most of the day being rolled back & forth to the nursery.. later than night she was released to me because DH was going to be there to visit with us. they too her back overnight.

later on Wednesday, they told me that her billirubin was high and that they wanted to do the photo therapy treatment.. I had a visitor, so I let the nurse take her back to the nursery for me, when I got there, I figured I could just sit with her and wait for the treatment to be done.. it was then that I was told that she needed an iv for dehydration -- she had been a very pokey and poor eater most of the first few days, but I was told that was all normal... I was in tears by the time I saw the iv hook up and then was told that I could not even HOLD her for the next 24 hours since she was so jaundice and needed the treatment... I sat by her warmer as much as I could.. the nurses in the NICU were so wonderful to me.. we were the only baby in there being intensively watched. this hospital really was a God's blessing to me... so the right decision for all of us..

Thursday, I was up early and walked down to the nursery and was told that the blood check was not as good as it needed to be and she would be spending another day getting photo therapy treatment, only this time, she would need to lay on a fiber optic blanket as well as the lights so that she would be doubly treated and that we had to limit the time out to even shorter periods of time.. as in a feeding and 5 minutes TOPS... my smart little cookie figured out that if she acted really hungry, rooting at the blankets & such, that they would take her out and try to feed her as often as once and hour... she would eat like 10 cc, which is NOTHING and then she got to snuggle with me some..

by Friday morning, I had been down for all of her feedings through the night and was just waiting for her blood work.. while I was at the nursing station getting my medication, they were bringing her back to me... blood check was good and she was likely to be released WITH me.. YEAH!
we spent the whole of Friday morning, snuggled up in my bed together.. making up for lost time..

We came Friday afternoon and although that night was rough, she is doing really well.. her weight is up and things are good.. over the course of this week, she has caught her sister's cold, but it seems more like reflux issues... we'll see..
if older dd & I gave my husband gray hair, this little peanut is going to make him bald..

she is a strong and healthy peanut who is going to keep her mom & dad on their toes!
I am just glad that she is here and healthy... everything else will work itself out in time..

If I knew better, I would still be smiling about my new angel..
:) Monique

super dirty...

I know that I owe this blog a birth story, I promise to get to it this week.. just playing catch up with everything in my life right now.. I was hoping to be able to just jump back in a do all the things that I couldn't do when I was pregnant, but I forgot that it will take about 6 weeks for my body and muscles to get back to normal.. I have been seriously over doing and feeling the pain...
Today I am doing nothing buy laundry...

seriously, I was in the hospital 5 days, and I was up late on Sunday before I went in doing laundry, wanted to be sure all was clean before I left.. and today, I am washing every single towel in my house.. EVERY ONE.. I have like 15 or so big bath towels and somehow, someway, every single one of them got used.. now, I know this might sound gross to some people, but in the effort of going green, we each use a towel at least twice.. seriously, you are clean when you use it, just sucking up water, so I use them 2 times.. and last week, most of my big dd showers were taken at my sister's house because DH need help washing her hair. seriously, how & when did all these towels get dirty.. did they have a dirty party while I was in there with my sweet little dd?? either way, dh will be hauling A LOT of laundry up and down the stairs today..

speaking of DH, he is being super about things right now, he is dealing with alot of junk with work, but is really attentive to both girls and making the best of things.. kills him that he isn't providing for the girls they way he wants to.. he admitted that he already felt like a failure to his littlest daughter before she was born because of this lack of financial support with work.. but honestly, I told -- if money is how you measure being a good day, then you have a lousy way of keeping score. money is only money and sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't.. you make it work.. best you can do.. but he is really loving being a dad again, big DD could sense all of his fears and anxiety and this time, he has let it all go.. just loving the time he has with both of them.. also his foot is doing much better.. the boot or walking cast is serving him well, no more crutches for him, he should be using them, but walks better without them.. likely to need a chiropractor when he is done to realign his back and hip gate.. but we will see..

I am off to switch the first load of laundry and check on DH, thinking baby girl is in need of a bottle by now.. she is up to 2 1/2 or so ounces every 3 or 4 hours.. for now, it's okay to have her eat when she likes, but soon, we will be scheduling things a little bit better.. especially naps in her bed.. must remember to research that one..

Okay, if I knew better, I would head upstairs and get some housework done before my energy poops out a bit and baby girl needs her next nap, which I plan to take with her, but for now, just gonna check another email or two....

:) Monique

1 week old...

this is not a real blog entry, just something to update.. I promise more info on the past week will be coming... but in the meantime..

My baby is one week old.. I am having a hard time believing it..
after such a rough start, she is doing so well..
she is regaining some of the weight she lost and is up to almost 3oz. at each feeding.. she does it every 3 1/2 hours, but she is a super content and happy baby.. you can put her down just about anywhere and she is content with her surroundings..
she is also a good sleeper.. through the night she eats and goes right back to sleep... or coos to herself until she does.. just a happy baby..
I am truly blessed..
Big sister is loving life with her baby sister.. so into being around her, kissing her all the time, begging to hold her, etc. we are remembering to comment on every little thing she does.. how awesome she is doing etc.. working out well..

With all the craziness in my life the last 6 months, it's such an amazing blessing to have my little family together and happy and healthy and for that, I am truly grateful...

If I knew better, I would still be this happy...
:) Monique